I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
