I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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