that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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