She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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