Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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