woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I'm really busy with my period
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