I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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