There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
