I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
