My first STD was from a foam party
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
