Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
