My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
