well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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