obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's official drugs can't kill me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
