Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm at about main and main street
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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