And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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