You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My feet surprised me
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