I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You are the jesus of drinking
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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