So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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