is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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