On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
