wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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