Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
