You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
