I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
