in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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