you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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