Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
is wine microwaveable?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
