Christians are straight up FREAKS
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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