i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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