whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I could make wine with my vomit
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize