oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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