There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
