obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize