And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
