I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
