I'm really into asian looking animals
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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