i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
it glows. i had to have it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
