I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
worst night to have a conscience
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
