she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
