is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
