i was rollin on her like bob the builder
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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