JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
