I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I will pee on everything he values.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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