end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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