I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
