Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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