Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
