so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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