Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
