Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
