New invention idea: vibrating tampons
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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