Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
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Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
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HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.