I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.