I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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