My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup