In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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