I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
