Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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