remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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