if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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