all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
