Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
