I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
