You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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