the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
