kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
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Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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