no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
