Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

So drunk, too bad you don't want this

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(250): View more from British Columbia

We got so high we made milksteak

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(614): View more from Ohio

mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.

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(801): View more from Utah

She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,

(679): View more from Michigan

I wanted to be a dolphin.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.

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(303): View more from Colorado

She's just so happy...and so naked.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment

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(636): View more from Missouri

When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.

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