I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
