the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
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i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
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He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?