Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.