Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
