Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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